5 Tips to make it through the tough times
I don’t know about you but 2017 has truly been one of the most financially challenging years for us. I have found that finances are one of the top three most stressful aspects of my life and it affects EVERYTHING! Basil and I are pretty positive people but this is the 3rd time in the space of a year that remaining positive has been incredibly hard.
LESSON ONE:- If you’re in a relationship COMMUNICATION is key!
Basil and I have learnt that no matter how hard the conversation is, it’s way better to begin the discussion than to not have it at all. We have learnt to be vulnerable with each other and gentle in response. I have to keep my mind from jumping to conclusions, interrupting and offering solutions before Basil has finished talking. Making the effort to truly listen and then to pause for thought at the end before responding always works out better than interrupting or working on a response in my head while Basil is speaking. Be present in your communication.
LESSON TWO:- It’s good to LET GO and CRY
I become so stressed before I cry that I react from a place of anger and even denial. In this latest financial challenge, I have vehemently resisted ideas posed for a way out. It has felt like the lion within in me has roared and clawed in protestation. It felt like accepting these tough decisions was admitting defeat, admitting that I had failed, that my best was just not good enough. I have cried, been broken hearted, confused and frustrated, looking back at everything we have worked so hard for and realising this dream has not bared the fruit of our labour. This has been hard. But the release that came from a good cry allowed me to reevaluate from a constructive point of view. After the tears I have been able to see more clearly and accept that these decisions do not mean failure.
Random piece of cool information: We have three different types of tears. Reflex tears which occur when we get something stuck in our eyes. Continuous tears which keep our eyes lubricated. Emotional tears which we cry when we feel sadness, grief, anxiety etc. Each of these tears have a different composition from saltiness and anti-bacterial properties to excess stress hormones. Read more about the health benefits of tears from Psychology Today.
LESSON THREE:- In every limitation there are INFINITE POSSIBILITIES.
We teach this in our hoop dance beginner series when doing exploration exercises and yet it’s so easy to forget when we are in the depths of a seeming black hole. Have you ever found that your most creative ideas are born in your darkest hours? You reach a point where you simply can no longer continue doing the same thing, that you are forced to come up with a new idea or a hundred! However, this is also often where you get stuck because it’s easy to say ‘come up with new ideas’, but when you are in this space it feels like your imagination is crushed. Forcing the issue of being creative can make it worse.
LESSON FOUR:- Be OPEN.
When you cannot think beyond the obvious, when the despair feels overwhelming and fear seems to grip you so tight you feel blindfolded and bound: Stop, Breathe and mentally Open yourself to new opportunities presenting themselves. These opportunities often come from the most unexpected places. Sometimes they seem so bizarre the fear takes over and we want to say no, but you must say YES. Say yes to everything! Saying ‘Yes’ says to the universe, ‘Thank you for the help, please send me more.’ Saying ‘No’ is like saying ‘I don’t need the very help I just asked for’ and the universe will listen and help someone else who is more open.
LESSON FIVE:- Take ACTION
This is the hardest part, but once you are ready to be open for new opportunities, you need to put yourself out there. You need to show that you are ready for change and new opportunities. Here’s an example of a small chain of events that happened for me.
I posted on Facebook that I was looking for admin work to do from home. Initially everyone was more focused on the gorgeous picture of Basil Alan I used to lure them to read my post but two weeks later I was asked to apply for an admin role. Then at the Baby Expo I was chatting to a stall holder who said she didn’t stock shops in Cape Town because she needed someone on the ground and I spontaneously offered my services. This opened up a new way of thinking for me and when I next ordered cloth nappies for Basil Alan I asked if they needed a sales rep in Cape Town. This has all happened in the space of a week. One of the offers didn’t work out but the other is in process. it may not be immediate but there is movement and I feel so much lighter knowing that I’m giving the universe opportunity to bless me with what I need.
None of my potential opportunities have anything to do with hooping and may in fact require me to put less energy into Hoop Flow Love for a little while, and I’ve realised that this is all part of the process.
Sometimes dreams have to be put on hold and that’s ok. Perhaps in the time that we take to get back on track we will learn powerful tools that will help us succeed in making our dreams come true in a better more focused way.
From Fernia, ‘Your supposed nirvana will be muddy and dirty and difficult at times. There is no way for this to be what you fantasise about. You will need to care for yourself… knowing who you are and the part you play in all things… be prepared to discover more magick than you ever thought possible.’ Lucy Cavendish Oracle of the Dragonfae
Thank you to Molly Hahn for her gorgeous Buddha Doodles that are full of heart felt inspiration. I love them!
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